RhinoPrints BBS^(IC)²

jeannie · Posted: Oct 21, 2009 Post subject: God's Grace

God gives us so much grace and love, and Jesus always looks at the heart. I cherish this because there has been so much harsh judgment by people when it comes to the topic of divorce. I know God hates divorce. He hates all sin. What I don't understand is why people are so hard on Christians that get divorced; as if it is a greater sin than anything else.

Bruce · Posted: Oct 21, 2009 Post subject:

Jeannie you have my sympathy and understanding. I too have encountered such condemnation and bigotry even though i became a Christian after my divorce. Praise the Lord I have found a congregation in a nearby town who are very accepting of me. I was totally open and upfront with them from the start.
I am active in the congregation in many ways. So there are Christians who practice forgiveness. Those that practice judgementalism will themselves be judged according to the manner in which they judge others. Mathew 7:1-3. So be comforted in our Lord Jesus.
_________________
The Lord is my shepherd

rhinorick · Posted: Oct 22, 2009 Post subject:

Amen, Bruce. And Jeannie, I too wonder the same thing. Why do we single out that one particular sin?

And the thing that REALLY gets me is how we treat the "victims" of divorce - the individuals who were abandoned by their spouses. The people who were not the ones who actually committed the sin. Confused

Either way, we should - are called to - forgive. Smile

Our church has a divorce care class - you can see more about it HERE, on our announcements page. They are taking a break for the Fall.

I am so glad you decided to join us here at the bbs. Smile

_________________

(do the right thing)^(IC)²

Bruce · Posted: Oct 22, 2009 Post subject:

You make a good point Rick, that the victims of divorce are often made to suffer even more because of their circumstances which are none of their own making. I am thinking here mostly of the children. The ripples of a broken marriage go out into the families and into the community at large as well. They need support and understanding too.

I have even heard it said that it is easier to forgive a murderer than for a divorcee to receive acceptance in the church. Jesus did not condemn the one brought to him and accused of adultery!

We need to follow Jesus' example and if we are falsely accused to forgive those who condemn us and ask our heavenly Father to forgive them too. So that we do not fall into the same trap of wrongful judgement.

Further we need to let go of the hurt and the pain so that we do not become bitter towards others. This is never easy but with the Lord's help it can be achieved .

Rest assured you will be in my prayers.
_________________
The Lord is my shepherd

jeannie · Posted: Oct 22, 2009 Post subject: Forgiving Divorce

Thank you for your gracious responses. My situation is difficult. I am currently going through a divorce and my ex tries to use the church (that I work for) to pressure me into staying connected with him. I have been married to him for 32 years. He suffers from mental illness and was not good about taking his meds regularly. When he is mentally unstable he becomes emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. It was my youngest daughter that prompted me to file for divorce. She used to beg me to take her and leave him even though he is her biological father. I stayed with him for 32 years under the belief that I had to refrain from committing the sin of divorce. I did not protect my children as I should have, and I allowed many things to go on in my household that have caused problems in the adult lives of my older children. I have sole physical and legal custody of my youngest daughter now, and things are better. But he is fighting me on the divorce, wanting only a legal separation with hope that we will get back together. I know that God has forgiven me for marrying the wrong person against the wishes of my parents. I also know that he forgives me for the divorce and for the many mistakes and poor judgments that I've made. My heart is to honor Christ, and to take care of my girls in a stable non-abusive environment. I recently got the "God hates divorce" lecture from a church elder that has been counseling my ex. I just want closure and the judgment of men to stop. For the first time in my life I look forward to going home after work. I'm enjoying my girls, and I feel like I have a second chance to make my life what God intended it to be. Thank you for listening.

Jeannie

panthrcat · Posted: Oct 22, 2009 Post subject:

difficult indeed,, I feel for you going to a home and feeling tense,, so glad that now your in a place where it actually feels "good" to go home to a home that you know there will be no turmoil.. it's got to be hard to hear others "judge" you and be subjected to such negativity.

Sue

Bruce · Posted: Oct 22, 2009 Post subject:

I feel for you too in this situation that you find yourself in and I appreciate the fact you felt able to share what you have been and are going through.

My prayers are with you, as I have said already, I say it again to reassure you that I meant it and mean it.
_________________
The Lord is my shepherd

jeannie · Posted: Oct 22, 2009 Post subject:

Thank you all so much! It is a relief to be in contact with kind and caring Christians that aren't ready to throw the book at me. I checked out the website that you suggested Rick. I think it is wonderful that a church would have a program for women that are separated or going through a divorce. It very sensitive of Calvary Baptist to have such a ministry and care so much about the women in their church. Unfortunately my church doesn't have such a program at this time. I live in CA.

rhinorick · Posted: Oct 23, 2009 Post subject: